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im finally back

Mon Jan 31, 2005, 10:23 PM
hey, its been forever, but i finally got resnet to get my computer to work again.

ok lets see whats happened, Im back at USM. have to take all of last semesters classes again cuz i was sick too much and failed due to attendence, so that really sucks. at least I don't really have to do much work though since i still have my old notes and papers. hehe.

I auditioned and got into chorale! so thats awesome. i finally get sing!! la la la!

besides that not much else is new.im drawing more, im joining the fencing club and i finally found a few cool people around here to hang out with. I actually have a date with one of them tomorow! ^_^ well, i don't know if its much of a date since we're just gonna hang out and watch a couple movies, but who knows. might actually turn out to be something more....we'll see.

um....oh, i own a bit of cali's soul now. which was nice of her to give to me, so in return i think im gonna make her some cookies or something. i think its a fair trade. maybe if she ends up actually coming here i'll take her out for chinese food and anime lol.

but yeah, things finally seem to be going good for me now... more than they have been at least. lets see if it gets even better shall we?

see ya around space cowboy...

another knife in my back(im running out of r

Fri Nov 5, 2004, 10:12 PM
i feel fucking sick. i am so tired of being everyone's scape goat. I'm sick of being used, im sick of being a dirty fucking secret. im sick of being a lie.I'm tired of having people hate and threaten my life based on things that aren't true. why do people think that its ok to blame me for everything, hurt me and throw me away instead of taking responsibilty for their own actions. why do people do this? really? especially people who supposedly cared about you. don't they feel any guilt? any regret for knowingly hurting you? why? i just don't understand.

maybe one of these people will tell me their reasoning one day. or at the most appologize. and for one of them, i thank you. *hug* and im happy we could work things out.

R.I.P

Mon Oct 25, 2004, 8:45 PM
my nephew was born prematurely, almost two months early like i was. they were afraid he wasn't going to survive birth, but he did. he continued to become healthier and stronger, just like i did. and i thought that everything was ok. and that they'd let him out and i'd finally be able to see him. but he ended up having some problems last week but because his father is a dick, he didn't let anyone tell us about it.

then this saturday he went in for the operation... later that day he died. He was one month and a week old.

I never got to see his face. and now i never will.

no one should have their life taken away before they're even able to really live. before they're even able to feel happiness,love...anything. It's not fucking fair. and no one should have to EVER bury their child.just thinking about what my sister is going through makes me cry. it just isn't right.

I can only hope that he is someplace better, where he can be happy

Job Mathias Hannah, may you rest in peace

I love the rain (oct-15)

Fri Oct 22, 2004, 8:47 AM
well, im pretty much soaked from head to toe right now, but ill get to that in a little bit.

to start off my wonderful day i ended up getting almost no sleep again, had to wake up early for class too. got ready, got on the bus and then ran to class.......and found a lovely little note on the front of the door telling us we had no class. needless to say i was pretty pissed off. so i just got back on the bus and came back here.

spent most the afternoon trying to sleep, that failed. so i just drew for a while untill mary got online.
ended up meeting her and sarah for supper. I guess for some reason we had a big fancy meal thing, with the jazz band playing and everything. It was pretty good, had some prime rib and potatoes. yummy.

They had fresh baked loafs of bread there too, and a knife to slice it with. now, i figured since bread is soft, the knife would be dull. like most bread knifes are. but no, this happend to be one of those razor sharp fuckers that can cut through shoes and cans and shit. so long story short, i sliced the top of my thumb, stung like hell. bled a bit too. wrapped it up in a napkin. mary wouldn't stop laughing at me, but whats new. hehe.

so yeah, the first part of my day kinda sucked. spent the rest of it bumming around,drawing some and talking to mary until she got done her work. Thats when my luck finally turned around. :)

She was still quite energetic so she felt like going for a walk with me. We met up and it was kinda misty out, but it wasn't that bad so we went anyways. walked way out past the gas station, past another grave yard that we'll have to check out some other day. and kept walking till the sidewalk ended, then we just turned around and walked all the way back. Had our regular 7-11 stop, got our coffee fix. walked outside and it started to pour.

she was worried that her jacket was gonna get soaked, so i gave her mine to put over it so it'd stay dry.That was prob the only thing dry she had by the time we got up to the dorm. we were both soaked, water streaming down our faces, and in mary's case, makeup. looked really nice actually, i would have taken a picture of it if i had thought of it at the time.

but yeah, we were going to go in but there were a bunch of drunk people in front of the doors. and mary didn't want to go past them. which was kinda odd cuz they're always there.but anyways, since she didn't want to go in, we had to find someplace dry to wait, so we ended up going to the other side of the building where the entrance to the art place was and stood under that for about a good hour or so. just standing together and listening to the rain, and watching the drunk people being retarded.
it was very nice.

cept when one drunk guy came up to us and informed us that he had no clue who we were, then gave me a high five and left. that was kinda weird. but quite interesting none the less.

finally the rain stopped and we went back to the entrance, which was now drunk free. so mary had nothing to fear now. so we hugged and said goodnight...about 6 times, twas nice :), then she finally gave me my wet coat and went inside to get all nice and warm n' fuzzy. and now im here, also warm and fuzzy.

so all in all, even though the day started off bad and slightly painful, it ended with a very beautiful night. twas very nice. I wonder how tomorow will turn out? Guess ill go to sleep so it will come quicker.maybe have a few good dreams. :)

goodnight,
justin

heart attacks(oct-13)

Fri Oct 22, 2004, 8:46 AM
We went to the zoo
We learned a thing or two
Animals die just like you and I
Even bears have heart attacks
And even lions have heart attacks

There's no need to cry, Mother Nature tries
And even cows have heart attacks
And even baby dinosaurs have heart attacks

They don't exercise and they eat too much fat
And even leprechauns have heart attacks
And even Nostradamus had heart attacks (I knew it)

It's just nature's way, it happens every day
And even Bob Marley cover-bands have heart attacks
Even cheerleaders, trees, and birds have heart attacks

If we knew why, we'd know the meaning of life
If they'd just exercise maybe they'd survive their heart attacks!

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